It's Nice to Meet You.

It occurred to me this weekend that I have not introduced myself.  I realize that most of the people reading this already know me, but perhaps there are some that would like to know me better or don't know me at all.

My name is Rick.  I'm 42 years old.  I've been married to the luckiest woman in the world for 12 years and we have produced two daughters that are 10 and 8 years old.  If you ask me, they are the most beautiful things in the world.  Clearly, they take after their mother.  I am a stay-at-home dad and love taking care of my daughters.  My wife works her tail off to provide the four of us with a fantastic life in the Pacific Northwest.  We've been in the Seattle area for the last 4 years after being in Denver for 10 years (My wife and I met and fell in love there and thought we would be there forever...).  We have both been blessed with loving families and great friends from all phases of our lives--childhood, high school, college, etc.--that are scattered across the United States.

I grew up in a great family. I'm the youngest child of three.  I have an older brother by five years and a sister who is three and a half years older.  My parents are getting ready to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary next month.  (Congratulations, Mom and Dad.  I'm sorry you had to cancel your African safari.)   We had great family vacations, wonderful holidays and genuinely like each other--usually.  I never lacked for anything, but wasn't given everything.  It was the kind of childhood that I hope to give my children.

None of this may seem very remarkable to you and I think that's point.  It's not very remarkable, but at the same time it is tremendously precious.  I have so much to live for that the thought of not being around to see my daughters grow up or not growing old with my beautiful wife is absolutely gut-wrenching.  In the past I have thought of such horrible scenarios in passing, easily dismissing the thought with a "I don't have to worry about that."  Now, it's the reason that I fight.

I've had lots of people ask me if I ever wonder "Why me?" or "Could I have done something differently?" or "What if we found out sooner?".  The answer is of course, of course.  How could I not think of those things?  But here's the thing:  it doesn't matter.  I'm not going to dwell on trying to figure out the answer to why this is happening because it's not going to change the fact that it is.  We need to focus all of our energy on the fight ahead and trying to figure out why this is happening to us is not going to help.  I would love to find meaning and I hope to someday, but I'm not going to dwell on it or feel sorry for myself.